Getting Specific

Why Coaches Ask A Lot of Questions (and why you should, too)

Key Highlights:

• Having a generic goal won’t produce the exact outcome you’re aiming for

• The more direct your vision is, the more likely you are to figure out what next steps you need to take to get there

• It sometimes helps to have a Coach, such as myself, lead you with very specific questions so that you can decipher what your specific goal is and thus see the way there clearer

Vizzini: Inconceivable! 

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

-from “The Princess Bride”

When I’m coaching my clients I ask a lot of questions. 

One of the reasons I ask so many questions is, because, much like the quote above, words don’t always mean the same thing to each of us.

Take for example a client who tells me they want more “free” time. 

I might respond by asking “What do you mean by free time?”

Occasionally when I am asking a question like this, there is an annoyed silence on the other side. 

“Did she really just ask me what ‘free time’ means?  Isn’t that obvious?”

Turns out it isn’t and here is why:

For some people ‘free time’ means having a half hour every day to work on their novel after work every day.

For other people ‘free time’ is no less than half a weekend day all to themselves.

And for others, ‘free time’ means only working a four-day workweek because they need a whole day for their own project development.

The key here is that a coach needs to know exactly what you mean when you say what you want. 

I liken this to hiking when talking with my clients.  Generally, when we go for a hike, we have a destination in mind, a beautiful vista, a lake to swim in, and/ or a mountain peak.

We choose our path based on our destination and when we are coaching, we need to be clear on the destination as well. 

If I’m thinking free time means three hours on the weekend and you really just want thirty minutes after work every day, well…our coaching session is going to be confusing.

The tip is also helpful for life in general. 

The more specific you can be about your goals, your dreams, about the project you are working on at work, the more likely you are to hit your target. 

In reality, a lot of it is a cascading effect. 

The more clear you are on the goal, the more obvious the steps become to get there. 

If I say “I want more free time to myself,” well, that is pretty unspecific and your chances of getting what I want are highly unlikely. 

You increase your odds of getting what you want when you can say:

“I want more free time to myself so I can work on finishing my novel.  If I could just find 30 minutes after work every day for a month, I think I could finish it.  Then I could continue using those 30 minutes every day after work to edit it, then marketing it out to editors.” 

Suddenly the actions you need to take start becoming very clear. 

That’s because you’ve made your destination clear and the road to getting there starts to show itself. 

Sure there are more steps between each of those big steps, but beginning with an outline ensures greater success.

So I encourage you, next time you find yourself thinking about something you want, to try and get very specific and detailed about what you want. 

See what happens. 

The road to success may just start to show up! 

And if you are curious about what it’s like to be asked a bunch of questions by a coach, please book one of my FREE 90-minute coaching sessions at the link below.